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Best Practices Newsletter

An Unresolved Conflict affects the Team

April 26, 2008 | by supportfornurses | Permalink

Jan and Maria have worked in the same department for the past five years; their collegial relationship appears close—sometimes you imagine they could finish each other’s sentences. Lately, there has been noticeable tension in their relationship; it’s become clear that Jan is avoiding Maria, and Maria has no idea why. She hasn’t asked Jan why she is avoiding her; instead, she indulges in speculation—speculation that leads to rumination: “What happened?” “Why is Jan avoiding me?” “What did I do?” “Why does she hate me?” These tapes play over and over without end. Sometimes the questions change, but the tape keeps playing.

The result of this rumination is that Maria is more distracted; more distraction means that she is more prone to making mistakes. And she is now feeling annoyed that the breakdown in her relationship with Maria has made her less efficient and has diminished the quality of care she delivers to patients. Jan, on the other hand, is expending a lot of energy in trying to avoid Maria. Her response to Maria is often in monosyllables–only communicating what she absolutely has to in order to get the job done. Jan’s ‘holding back’ has made her tense and jumpy; her colleagues are reluctant to interact with her, because she seems so anxious and distracted.

Jan and Maria’s conflict is not only affecting each of them personally, it is affecting them professionally; they are less efficient and effective. And, their unresolved conflict is impacting the team as well. Therefore, it is crucial that steps be taken to break the impasse; assertive communication is key, and it is the first step: Maria could approach Jan and say something like, “I notice that you are avoiding me, and I have no idea why; I really want to know what’s bothering you, so we could resolve it”. Jan’s responsibility is to be available to Maria to resolve the problem. Being available means that Jan is willing to state what’s bothering her and ask for what she needs. Both parties need to be willing to truly listen to each other and avoid getting defensive.

Chances are if Jan and Maria are willing to engage in this interaction, in good faith, they could resolve the matter. And they may even improve their relationship if they get into the habit of being open and honest with each other. Taking the steps to resolve an impasse in a relationship is so much more rewarding than engaging in endless speculation/rumination, tension and anxiety.

The moral of this story is to note that unresolved conflict between two colleagues also affects patients and the medical team. To not resolve the conflict is an act of irresponsibility. On a medical team, an interpersonal conflict between two colleagues ripples, and that ripple can mean diminished satisfaction, poor morale and less productivity of team members. While taking that ‘first step’ to resolve a conflict or impasse may feel scary and quite challenging, it is the most responsible thing a nurse can do—particularly one who is committed to providing good patient care!

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